The New Dark Crystal: Super Sunglasses

So I wouldn’t do a whole posting about something just so I could tie it in with a early 1980s movie Dark Crystal from Jim Henson and Frank Oz. But then again, I might when the lead characters, The Gelfings, look like this...

However, when the new colors for acetate sunglasses from Super feature looks like this, the obscure and potentially cheesy film tie-in is just a side benefit to discussing an exciting option for cold-weather sunnies.

The color: dark brown, the style: People

For winter, these darker crystals from Italian sunglass company Retrosuperfuture are a great way to maintain that see-through look that’s been so hot for the past couple of seasons. But balancing out the translucence is a palette of rich caramel, dark brown, deep blue, and bottle green hues that have a distinctly cold-weather feel to them.

This carmel, when adding a burst of color to this modified keyhole bridge style, has a delightfully fresh feel with a distinctly historic flair.

The color: caramel, the style: Lucia

And the blue and green colors. Would I love them with more color-matched lenses? Yes. Yes I would. But I like that sort of thing, and the lenses super went with are Zeiss, so they're going for a quality thing. And the acetate colors more than adequately handle the aesthetic load.  

Above: the color: bottle green, the style: Lucia.
Below: the color: blue, the style: Andrea

These frames with a hat in a complimentary color and a supersized tube of Chapstick might be all one needs to be happy this winter.

Prada Sunglasses Get Personalized

While I would personally obey Miuccia Prada's design commands...her taste is pretty darn impeccable...it's nice that she's willing to give designer sunglass fans a chance to take a short spin in the drivers seat with a new customizable Prada Private sunglass collection from Luxottica. According to the L.A. Times fashion blog, All The Rage, the collection launches tomorrow exclusively through Sunglass Hut.

While the frames themselves come in a simple color palette of black, white, and tort, each also comes with 45 bits with numbers, letters, and symbols that can be screwed in to a section of the sunglasses' temple.

Perfect for a personal best.

Denzel Washington: Sunglass Rescue

Ok, hold on Denzel...I'm coming to help you!

Denzel must be a Big and Sunny reader. And because I've taken a break lately due to some international travel and highly important bonding time with delightful young men and sweet little shih tzus, he is clearly at a loss for what to wear on his face to prevent squinting really creepily at Boys and Girls Club press events.

Let me give you a hint, handsome: SUNGLASSES!

In a world where D listers are tricked out in the latest shades, can we not take a moment to ensure the nation's thespian treasures are adequately sunglassed.

My recommendation would be something sexy and classic, like himself. A sassy pair of Polo Ralph Lauren sunglasses would not be out of the question. Mr. Washington, you would be ready for your close up for sure. Here's style PH3052...tasty, oui?

I can see I have my work cut out for me...Big and Sunny is back.

Little Girl in Big Glasses

You know you have a teeny tiny head when...

Oh, I'm sorry Taylor. But I guess I'm going to pick up where Kanye left off...Beyonce rocks sunglasses much more successfully than you. Sure you're cute, but when we look back people are not going to be putting you on the top of the sunglass-wearing charts.

If you'd like to get there, stick with cool styles like the Derek Lam's you're wearing...but try to be sure that they fit! It's just the slightest bit ooky to have your eyelashes popping above your sunglasses.

Sure I'm picky. But you're young and there's still time for your to become a sunny powerhouse!

Soothing and Sunny

Most matters of babies—and particularly babies’ style—are a bit of a mystery to the Spinstermiss. But I do have a 14-pound dog who is very well dressed, so I will take the liberty to draw some conclusions about human babies based on my years of caring for and maintaining my hairy, hairy daughter. 

My knowledge pretty much covers the following:

- They’re small.

- They’re cute.

- They’re dramatic, particularly on planes and in restaurants.

- They’re delicate when it comes to stuff like sun exposure and the elements. 

And as a parent/caretaker, I would imagine that one would not only want his or her baby to feel good and comfy and happy, but also to look adorable.

When strolling the halls at Silmo (the Parisian optical trade fair), I think I found something that speaks to all of those admirable goals: Lytot’s new Baby Sunglasses with Pacifier. It’s an all-in-one style booster and baby silencer. Which has got to be a good thing, right?

Now if they could figure out a similar set up for shih-tzus, I’d really be in business!

Sunglass Headlines!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39657684/ns/world_news-americas/

Extra extra...the world is doing my job for me...

Oakley helps miners face freedom safety...and looking hot! The group of miners had some varied interests and managed to make it through confinement the likes of which would freak out the vast majority of us. But with some help from the world, including some sharp Radars to help prevent eye damage during their transition to the above world, they are back in the sun.

Now Oakley's taking a lot of heat for garnering a ton of publicity for their good deed, but I sincerely have my doubts that the gang from Oakley has been planning this out in their board room for the past 60+ days. Even though they are a massive global powerhouse, can't we just give these guys a hale and hearty handshake for a job well done?

Sunglasses on the Runway: DVF SS 2010

Diane von Furstenberg illustrates how a great designer takes a look and makes it truly universal. For her runway show, a healthy number of the looks were topped off by sunglasses in an eyewear shape that can send chills down the spine of the most daring spec lover: rounds.

John Lennon owned that look, and Yoko could borrow it now and then, Janis Joplin rocked them hard, but maybe pretty wouldn't be the perfect description. My point is that round sunglasses can be a tough wear.

But this show made me rethink my fear of the round. Blond and pale? Looking good!

Tawny skin with a dramatic white sunglass pop? A-mazing...

There are a few elements to these rounds that make them so much more wearable:
1. Color. That bright white isn't hiding from anything—it's a creative piece for your face and doesn't necessarily have to try so hard to blend in. So if the round is slightly-less-than-harmonious, it's ok!
2. Mirror...Conversely, a heavy mirror makes the look a little easier to handle because it does fade create a continuity with your clothing, which are being a tad reflected in the surface. Also, the perfect circles are made somewhat imperfect by the play of light.

3. Detailing. Yes, I know that I accused one Kate Hudson of over-accessorizing with a pair of sunglasses that had a brow wire. But she was also wearing a ton of jewelry. And her kitten expression smacked of mutton dressed as lamb. Which never works for me (except sometimes, when it does). These do work for me thanks because the brow wire doesn't pop like crazy, but it breaks up the super roundness in a facially nice kind of way.

I know, I know...the big hole in my logic is that all of these women are models. With professional dressing, hair, and makeup assistance. But if Fashion Week doesn't allow us to suspend our disbelief, then what will? So while I'm not so crazy as to think hot pants are a good idea for my spring wardrobe next year, I might just be rocking myself a little rounder on the sunglass front when the temperature goes back up.

Sunglasses of Star Wars

Today should be all about the VMAs. And I’m going to get to them…tomorrow! For today, here’s a little reflection on sunwear and one of the all-time best films series. Ever. STAR WARS!

Out in space, even a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, humans, humanoids, and other life forces struggled with glare and optical discomfort due to one or more suns. If given the choice, what sunglasses would they wear. Here's my semi-professional and extremely opinionated opinion.

Yoda in Wayfarers.

Yoda is what, a thousand years old? I don’t know, Star Wars experts, please feel free to advise. The point is: this guy is busy being wise, training Jedi’s, and walking the line between tough and huggably cute. So he needs classic sunglasses that can carry him from swamp planet, to desert planet, to spacecraft in style. The enduring wayfarer is definitely going to do the trick. For the t-shirt, visit: http://www.80stees.com/products/Cool-Yoda-Star-Wars-T-shirt.asp?referer=froogle_SWARS211

Luke Skywalker in Aviators

He’s young and sassy, and even though Luke doesn’t know it, his dad is a total badass. So Luke needs something that says, “I might be a patriot or a might cause a riot.” And aviators have plenty of rogue factor to allow for looks ranging from federation hero to lone wolf Jedi. (Shown: Luke Skywalker in rebel fight suit USB cover from Mimoco.) With blond hair and a tan, he'd probably rock these limited edition Michael Kors 22k gold aviators pretty hard (he is a prince by birth, after all!)

Darth Vader's Tough Glam Look

THE ultimate badass. Darth is like a space biker. But rich. Chic. Glossy. He has a fake planet for crying out loud. Yeah, it’s his bosses’ fake planet, but regardless Darth is pretty high up in the dark and tough ranks. Something from Optical Shop International, probably Chrome Hearts, a super luxe line, would definitely be in his sunglass wardrobe. Style Taint might really speak to a fellow who isn’t quite a robot and isn’t quite a man

Once more, with feeling

So yes I've written about BCBGMAXAZRIA's Dream sunglasses, the designer's fund-raising sunglasses, before. But with the Susan G. Komen New York City Race for the Cure coming up this weekend, the message bears repeating. Each sale of these sunglasses results in a donation to the Susan G. Komen folks to aid their support for those with breast cancer and fight against the disease.

I'll be wearing mine this weekend as part of ClearVision's Dream Team (http://www.komennyc.org/site/TR?team_id=41762&fr_id=1210&pg=team). Sorry to those who were drinking something and spit it across the room at the thought of the lovely but not quite...ehem...athletic Spinstermiss doing something so sporty. Even I will make an exception to my pajama Sunday rule for the right cause. And this is one of them.

Plus, I'll be walking the course and have been assured that a makeup crew will be near the finish line and cocktails and snacks will be served shortly after.

Interested in getting a pair for your own wardrobe? Visit: http://www.cvoptical.com/OurBrands/BCBG/BCBGDreamFund_sel.htm

Meaty Sunglasses?

This morning I was looking through the interweb checking out info nuggets, celeb trends, and the latest from the international magazines and saw Vogue Hommes Japan. You should never be able to Google the phrase: Gaga Meat Bikini and come up with something. And yet here we are, in a world filled with pop starlets clinging to fame by any means necessary. Even via filet as hat.

And, to tell the truth, I was feeling pretty despondent when considering the potential trends that may result...especially with Thanksgiving around the corner.

The bright spot in this whole mess? At least she didn't sport and meat sunglasses.

Wonder what cut of meat would best translate into sunglasses?

Endless Summer Sunglasses

Well my holiday weekend was brought to you by the good folks at Nyquil and other cold and flu remedies.  Which means 2 things.

1. I didn't write this week's posts over the weekend for an entertaining jump on the the week.

2. Summer's not over for me. I didn't celebrate it's passing. It's still pretty hot here in the Northeastern U.S. And I'm not quite done.

So when I saw these sunglasses, they looked so summery and fresh to me, I took it as a sign that my thoughts were headed in the right direction and I can keep on wearing my flip flops for at least one more week before breaking out the boots.

A Cruel Choice: Emmy Sunglasses or Cocktails

Oooh. 

Hello.

You’ve caught me packing for the holiday and shaking my first round of martinis so they're ready for the crack of noon. (Don't worry, I won't be doing the driving!)

And where is the Emmy blockbuster wrap up that I had hoped to run this week? That’s an excellent question. It’s a question that I intend to ponder over cocktails this afternoon.

But for now, my thoughts are of getting on my tracksuit, putting on some great sunglasses, and indulging in a 72-hour trip to abandon. In fact, on the way I could work these retro Nike Vintage 73 sunglasses worn by Emmy-award-winning (YAY!) actress Jane Lynch channeling her character Sue Sylvester.

While the glasses have a comedic touch in this situation—Jane Lynch just makes everything a little bit funnier—they’re a smart pick for a woman of a certain age: Especially if that age is over 40. The red acts as a blusher element on the face, bringing a little spark to your look.

That’s my sunglass beauty tip of the day: If you don't want to wear a face full o'makeup, let your sunglasses do some of the heavy lifting.

For those of you trapped in the office for the remains of the day—or, please be careful, those who are riding out the hurricane—and longing to look at the red carpet sunglass looks of the stars. Please take a look at an entertaining and star-studded rundown of Emmy night sunglass look at the Eyecessorizeblog. 

While checking it out, think about the following question: Are those wearing sunglasses doing for sun protection, style, or to protect some very expensive and high quality face work they’ve invested in with some of the finest plastic surgeons in the world? Regardless, some strong sunny choices!

http://eyecessorizeblog.com/2010/08/31/sunnies-shine-at-the-emmys/

Have a great weekend…cheers!

The future's so bright?

It is with very mixed emotions that I write about La Lohan. She is a hot mess and it seems vulturish to write anything about her. And that particularly resonates when you see that she's made some smart recovery steps like running a red light to try to get to a club straight out of rehab or solemnly and appropriately (huh?) wearing short shorts and thigh-high stockings to her first post-incarceration court date and in a slightly less hmmm....style forward?....outfit for a meeting with her parole office pictured at www.x17online.com...

It just does not bode well for this young thing. But hope springs eternal and she at least gets a little credit for continuing her devotion to sunglass style. One of her first shopping stops was the high-end optical boutique Destination: Sama in West Hollywood, where she tried on cute styles before her court date. And since then she's been rocking the Sama's on a regular basis, which is just the right thing to do since they are pretty glammariffic.

As a guilty lover of all things celebrity schadenfreude (thank for the "gum" bindle, Paris!), I will express the hope that LL has soaked up some of the clean living vibes put out by the charity organization founded by Sama designer/owner Sheila Vance, The Sam Vance Foundation. And that she paid full price for the frames—a portion of Sama Eyewear's yearly sales take goes to support the anti-drug and humanitarian efforts of the eyewear manufacturer.

But I won't be surprised by anything short of her entry into a cloistered nunnery. Actually, even that would make a bit of sense.

If nothing else, at least she'll look stylish as she goes down in flames.

Not Beer Goggles, Pub Sunglasses

Fashion crossovers and sub-collections are so amazing these days. This week Big & Sunny looked at the Star Wars and Stella McCartney projects with adidas, and I longed for adidas eyewear to kick into geektacular gear and step up with a Star Wars sunglass. (Fingers crossed!)

Now here’s another great opportunity. The editors at Dazed Digital wrote about a new sub-collection in the New Balance line that brings some young to that collection. Now I’m a huge fan of comfy walking, but I long for some style, too! Now the sneaks are younging it up with trainers named after popular UK pubs.

Here's the story from: http://www.dazeddigital.com/Fashion/article/8229/1/New_Balance_in_Da_Pub

New Balance might not be a UK-born label, but that makes their British production site even more special. Manufactured in Flimby, the trainer brand has, since its incarnation in 1906, been synonymous with stylish US design and British quality. But now, in conjunction with the 20th anniversary celebrations of the NB 576 style, the location of its factory isn't the only red and white aspect of the brand. Three styles - all named after popular UK pub names - are offered as extra value to the 576's already confirmed iconic design and well-documented quality. The King's Head, The Red Lion and The Royal Oak are the chosen ones, and they have each been given colour coding (navy, tan and burgundy), tongues with individual pub artwork and Union Jacks on the heel. Ahead of tonight's launch at the Red Lion pub on London's Hoxton Street, Dazed Digital spoke to trainer expert and Crooked Tongues maestro Gary Warnett to get his point of view on New Balance and their new pub range...

Would love to see a fairly solid and staid brand of sunglasses like New Balance get a little goose (or tipsy as it were) with a youthful grouping like this.

Here’s to that!

How I Met Your Sunglass List

It seems sad that someone who has genuine TV cute like Rachel Bilson requires a fairly old reference in the title of this blog entry. But she was good in the role on How I Met Your Mother (which did just have some success at the Emmy's, hello timeliness!) and at least I'm not citing her for her serial dating of almost-were actors.

As Sunglass Hut’s resident celeb “Style Director,” Rachel Bilson has come out with her recommended hit list of stylish eyewear, Rachel’s Collection. There’s something just plain adorable about Rachel, but I was pretty skeptical about her determining sunglass styles for the nation.  I mean, sure she was a judge on Project Runway, great. But so was Sarah Jessica Parker, who completely lost my fashion respect with her infamous SATC premiere flowerpot hat to top a list of crimes against design.

But I like to give the benefit of the doubt—and RB usually looks like she has her own fashion drummer keeping a pretty decent beat—so I looked at her picks at Sunglass Hut’s website:

 http://www.sunglasshut.com/sgh/collectionDetailPage.jsp?collectionId=rachelscollection

She plays it pretty safe, which makes sense for her first time out of the gate. Of course the Ray-Ban Aviator and Wayfarer topped her list along with several other takes on aviators. They are produced by Luxottica (owner of Sunglass Hut), and they are classic and maintain their cool and the two styles cover the lion’s share of many people’s day-to-day sunglass needs.

The other picks continued safe with sporty Maui Jims, which I am sure are a huge seller for the Sunglass Hut chain, but I don’t really buy as a top-10 pick for a girl like Rachel who was rocking it out in Chloe sunglasses just last summer. Maybe she has a secret golf addiction that I don’t know about.

Another puzzling choice was a Bvlgari frame. Please don’t get me wrong…I LOVE Bvlgari sunglasses—I’m Italian! I’m from Jersey! I’m a little more…ahem…mature…than Rachel. So what? Don’t judge me!

And back to my point: Rachel is just a little young for some of the choices on the list. It’s puzzling that you can select a pretty cute but fairly conservative Persol model and one of the “If you like this you might like….” items is the Mosley Tribes sunglass style Patterson (with which I had a passionate love affair last spring. Call me, Pat! Sigh.) That’s the kind of look I suspect Rachel would rock in “real life.” So why isn’t that on the list? WHY?

Yes I am aware that Rachel herself probably didn’t choose “Rachel’s List.” That might be the real shame of the list. The Featured Trends on the website, Geek, Hollywood, and Retro Prim, are also attributed to the new style director’s choices but they reflect a much cuter look and are way more age-appropriate. And, best of all, they show that the style director may actually have some personal style.

Star Wars and Sunglasses: Perfect Together

Whether you’re a sci-fi geek or a fashion fanatic, adidas has taken its bestriped styles right right to the edge. A design partnership with Stella McCartney brings a sleek chic to sports togs. Some of her running clothes make me actually want to step away from my computer and start stepping someplace athletic. Yeah, I'm not sure where that is. But maybe it would come more naturally with the right togs.

Meanwhile the story is not quite as sexy from a sunglass perspective.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, the Kundo sunglasses with a café con leche color scheme are cute as a button.

Also, the Ipanema from adidas Originals isn’t a pair of sunglasses that I would throw out of my purse any time soon…very sporty cute.

But wouldn’t you have loved to see what they could do sunglasses wise with some of adidas' special partnerships, particularly with the Star Wars collection…oy! It’s a great combo of dorktastic and fantastic.

This video shows the awesomeness.. http://www.youtube.com/user/adidasoriginals#p/u/86/ZooYDKIDOaQ

In this day and age of streamline and chunky combos in the world of sunglass designs, along with the shiny or metallic color schemes that would make C3PO and R2D2 beep with envy, one can’t help but sigh a little about the styles that could come through adidas under this umbrella.

The force would totally be with them.

Sunglass road to Enlightenment

It’s hard to be opinionated.  Sometimes you make a VERY hard stand against something…such as sunglasses at night.

And on some level you’ll always feel that note of concern: will something come down the road to make you think…maybe I should reconsider my stance?

And then just that happens.

So here it is, top of a fresh week and I’m forced to wrestle with this question: does glow-in-the-dark-ness(-ousity? -hood?) make wearing sunglasses at night ok?

The answer, my friends, is…maybe. When I was a kid, I loved my glow-in-the-dark fake vampire fangs (I was into vampires before it was hip, what can I say?). And when my nephews and nieces were babies, I thought those glow-in-the-dark galaxies that were stuck on their nursery ceilings were super-cute. And on a trip to New Zealand a boat ride through a glowworm cavern just make me love that green sheen in the weirdest way. So I guess that I am biased in favor of glowing.

Converse’s Glow-In-The-Dark styles look frosty during the day and glowing neon at night in either an aviator shape or rectangular style. And although I continue to have serious questions about the wholesomeness of after-dark shade, I might have to see them myself before I make my final judgment. Hmmm.

Sunglass Ingenue

So it really turns out that Kate Hudson is a better sunglass wearer than actress. And although you don’t get paid for sassy sunwear, there must be a special Academy Award for best use of optical props, right?

Here she’s seen in London wearing Ørgreen’s Bianca sunglass. (INF photos.)

Bieber Seasonal Cold

As a grown woman with no children and a shard or two of self respect, I simply cannot catch Bieber fever. But out of respect for two subjects near and dear to my heart—my niece and l.a. Eyeworks—I will share these images of Justin Bieber in l.a. Eyework's style Bent sunglasses. These stills are from a new  MTV video promo for the VMAs set to air Sept. 12.

I could take two roads here: It's appalling that Justin Bieber has to infringe even on the most wonderful things, like a great l.a.-based eyewear company (check for their futuristic shop next time you watch Bladerunner!). OR: Maybe there is hope for this kid after all.

Because I've been away for a week and am so happy to be blogging again (and my niece will kill me if I besmirch the Bieb), I will give the lad the benefit of the doubt.

Envying Famous People Wearing Sunglasses

Things are still crazy busy for me. If I did everything I'm supposed to do today, it would be Wednesday before I got out of my chair. But Hollywood stars seem to have plenty of time to swan around wearing cool sunglasses. So here are a few of the H'wood people whose glasses I am planning to steal as soon as possible.

Jennifer Love Hewitt proves that I am in fact the last and potentially only person in the world without a pair of the beloved shiny, sexy, Mykita Franz gold sunnies. She must have a very good stylist, because no one with the bad taste to date Jamie Kennedy would be able to pick out these wonderful glasses.

Oh man, I want to be a cool person who can pull off Chloe sunglasses! I do, I do. In fact, I might just want to be Anna Paquin in general. Cute English fiance? Check. Confident smile complete with signature tooth gap? Check. Exciting pansexual PSA? Check. Blood-soaked boy sandwich Rolling Stone cover? Wait. Oh that's just crazy. But she does look awesome in Chloe Belladone sunglasses.

And finally, because I really do have to get back to work (Boo! We want to have a glass of champagne and watch reruns of True Bloooooood!), Leighton Meester is my final pick of the day of people who had better watch it before I steal their sunglasses. Even though I have never actually seen her act or sing, and although I find her name to be beyond silly, and regardless of the fact that she may very well be on set and not wearing clothing of her own choosing, I long for these Derek Lam Parker sunglasses, a tube of red lipstick, and an 18-year-old boyfriend...a slice of what I imagine her daily life to be. Sigh.

Rage-Ready Sunglasses

This is a tough time of year at the office. Things are crazy busy and the words and such are flying all over the place. And since I'm sensitive, damn it, it's taking a slight toll on my otherwise sterling sense of humor.

What I need today is a good pair of rage-friendly sunglasses.

My first choice would be Silhouette's Titan Minimal Art...which is a clean Austrian style that doesn't take crap from anybody. And because there are no hinges to get caught in your hair and ruin a dramatic moment, they are completely perfect for a "What The F?" confrontation accentuated by pulling one's sunglasses off and gesticulating wildly with them.

In my few spare moments I'll try to come up with a few more rage-friendly models.

Style suggestions are welcome! (angrily!)

Big and English

Sorry about the spotty blogging last week. And oy...the stories I have for you once I can catch my breath! I have seen sunglasses on beautiful people galore. More to come later...

For now, here's a link to a great story about big gals and the accessories that love them:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1303293/Big-girl-skinny-world-You-know-youre-podgy-hat-fits.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Combo Pack: Capes and Sunglasses

Capes are in again.

Just let that sink in.

Capes. Are. In.

Now, I love a cape…they’re so drama drama. But I also think of capes as the coat of choice worn by my nana, who was no fan of excessive buttoning up.

Her logic in winter coating solutions was sound. Capes are one step from just getting out of bed and going to work with the comforter wrapped around your shoulders. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that, folks!

Unless you have a Snoopy comforter; in which case: come on, that’s just weird at your age.

The big question here is what sunglasses to use with a cape. You could go super clean line and make it a WWII look.

Or you can go super-girly and femme it up.

Or you can go edgy and use your sunglasses to take you straight into Fantastic Land with the Paul Smith style Foxley (shown above). Where is Fantastic Land, you ask? Only those in capes and the proper sunglasses truly know.

Silly sunglasses, Snooki

By this point, I believe I've made my feelings on enormous sunglasses clear (I love them).

But I don't know if I've made myself clear about novelty sunglasses (I hate them).

From Gaga's smoking Telephone sunglasses to Jersey Shore's hot mess Snooki's choice, they just burn my toast.

There is a big difference between innovative or artistic and silly and gimmicky.

Lace sunglasses from Chanel: artistic!

Condom monocle from Left Eye: almost silly, but social message makes it artistic!

Last summer's slatted sunglass collaboration between Alain Mikli and Kanye West: Innovative (you can actually see out of them!)

These, shown at http://zennie2005.blogspot.com/2010/08/jersey-shore-guilty-pleasure-by-nikky.html:

Just ridiculous.

Isn't it bad enough that these MTV-sponsored thugs are further maligning sweet sweet New Jersey? Now they have to mess with sunglasses, too? What's next? Will The Situation have an inappropriate relationship with grandma's apple pie while draped in an American flag? This madness must end.

Privacy Enhancing Sunglasses

There are times in a girl’s life when she just wants to be alone. Not in the Greta Garbo way, but in the “no, seriously, now is just not a good time” way. I’m sure this goes for boys’ lives as well.  But I’m the SpinsterMiss, not the BachelorMister, so I’ll be selfish about my pronouns, thank you very much.

Anyway, there are those days when all of the makeup in the world can’t hide the fact that you’ve had one of those nights.

Not the good kind.

The kind of night where you actually drank that gag bottle of wine that you got for your house warming party several years before….and you found and smoked the cigarettes at the back of your junk drawer that you thought were gone since you quit ages ago….all while watching any movies that will make you therapeutically cry. And, because it’s been that kind of a day, pretty much any movie will make you therapeutically cry, from The Jerk to a nature documentary.

So the next day when you have to go to work, you’d better have something you can wear that’s big enough to cover what seems to irreparable damage to your pretty, pretty face. Sunglasses that reveal nothing beneath your stylish exterior.

Thank goodness designers are more than willing to provide us with a number of defensive sunglass options.

Large looks, such as the Peekaboo from Fendi (above) are excellent...they fairly scream "just look at the glasses and leave me alone!"

And then there is the dark, she-walks-in-beauty-like-the-night looks, such as this Valentino style 5749 that can help you fade in and out of the scene in proper privacy.

Sunglasses at night

It's quite a pickle. I'd like to switch my postings to the p.m. I do have a full-time job that requires my full time attention. But by the time I get home and walk the dog and get settled in for the night, it's dark. And I'm not crazy about writing on the subject of sunglasses when there's no sun. In fact, I'm just not crazy about sunglasses at night. Period.

I'm going to go right out on a limb and say that while I love Corey Hart and his dreamy super-spiked hair and his total lack of willingness to ever surrender, I think that wearing sunglasses at night is foolish and dangerous and it makes you look like you're high and couldn't afford Visine.

There, I've said it. I feel much better now. Kanye, Diddy, Gaga, and other various and assorted celebrity types may be eligible for a waiver if they are faced with photophobia due to excessive exposure to camera flashes. But you'll have to fill out a form and get my approval on it.

Otherwise, I'm totally going to make fun of you whenever I can.

You're warned.

Crystal clear FAIL

 Well, this is one entry that won't be getting a personal photo.

As is turns out, crystal frames let through sun just fine, so no temple tan lines. BUT...if your sunwear is any good, which mine always is...than the UV protection in the lenses will also provide sunscreen for the skin around your eyes. Which is totally great for the prevention of additional "smile lines" (ahem).

The end result, however, after a day of boating fun is two lens-shaped white shapes around your eyes.

So love crystal sunglasses. Just don't expect them to provide you with the perfect tan.

Also, I'd recommend staying away from the Lolita-esque heart-shaped sunnies if you're expected to appear in public after your day in the sun.

Keep Archie, blondie. Give me the sunnies.

It’s no secret that the dark Veronica’s of this world might occasionally feel some resentment towards the fairer Betty’s in our lives. And this week’s star sightings of blond actresses Reece Witherspoon in Jason Wu and Hillary Duff in Carrera as well as quasi-actress/personality Paris Hilton in Mykita (drool!) has done nothing but up the envy factor.

I guess blonds are known for their sunworshipping, beachgoing ways.  So sunglasses and blonds do tend to go together. And, of course, there’s the medical consideration: those with blue eyes should always be in sunglasses when they’re outside so they don’t end up with macular degeneration in their golden years.

So wear sunglasses by all means, blondies, but keep your hands off of these cool styles in the future. If it's any consolation, they can keep Archie.

Getting Away Shades

Tonight I’ll be packing and joining the monstrous chain of SUV’s trekking their way to The Shore for a girls week with my mom, my sister, and my nieces (with Dad and assorted brothers and nephews thrown in for good measure). And this is one of my favorite sunglass times of the year.

Most of the time I like to think that I know pretty much all there is to know about sunglasses, from their construction to their day-to-day applications. But it’s easy to forget that everyone brings their own perspective to the table and what I think is unbearably cool is just plain unbearable to others.

One of least favorite parts of the trip is the moment that I realize everyone around me thinks a pair of sunglasses in my heavy rotation are suited for someone else. Probably someone crazy or who has just given up the game entirely.

But one of my favorite parts is sitting on our lounge chairs, looking at the bay, passing around sunglasses, and finding that one pair every woman there—from the 12 year old to the 70 year old—wants for her very own. There’s almost always a favorite and I can’t wait to see which sunglass takes the prize this year.

I’m still loving the Prada Postcard looks and thinking this is going to be a big hit!