Val Kilmer's Sunglasses Made Me Cry

Once upon a time, there was a girl from New Jersey who watched a lot of cable television. And during a very special time in her life, Top Gun was played approximately 50 times a day by the Home Box Office (in the dark, bleak, days before True Blood).

And for many, many years afterward, the phrase "Ice Is Nice" made her feel happy and tingly.

Then came along stupid Comic-Con this year and ruined it all by allowing Val Kilmer to appear in public with his face looking not ice-y or nice at all.

And the sunglasses don't help. Roy Orbison owns that look from Beyond the Grave, Val. OWNS IT! So back off, go to the gym, get a tan, put on some mirrored sunglasses, and take off your shirt. The way God meant things to be.